Why is it hard to take advice from my family? - Page 2

sheryllynn · #16 (**permalink**) 07-05-2009, 11:56 PM

Well... It's not bad to decide on your own as long as you're on the right track. You can listen to family's advice then you'll the one who'll do the thinking... what's gonna be good for you. But don't forget that 'Family' will always be your family no matter what happens so try to listen to them. A family will always stay beside you... and love you unconditionally..

chriscash01 · #17 (**permalink**) 07-06-2009, 01:41 AM

its just the t=shy thing inside of you that makes it hard to take some advices from them.

confusedinID · #18 (**permalink**) 08-23-2009, 08:47 PM

I'm not sure I could guess an age on this original post, but I have noticed that my response to family members' advice has changed over the years. As the "baby" in my family, at first I idolized them, then as I became older and they didn't seem to recognize that, I resented it. I used to seek it out now I try to avoid it.

I do think that "familiarity breeds contempt" fits. You have no idea that the stranger who gave you advice fought with his father, mother, brother, sister, etc. Tied his little brother to the stair rail. Snuck out and got drunk. Has been a jerk to his spouse. Neglects his ....whatever. We know too much about family members and it does shade our view of what they suggest. If we knew more about the stranger, we might question their advice as well.

Of course the opposite is also true. If you have excellent role models in your family you might trust them more than strangers. Maybe it is easier to connect or relate to others because we enjoy the newness of it. Who you trust has a lot to do with your own background and personality as well.

Then there is the possibility that ..... or....... but maybe it is just........

No easy answer to this question. Psychologists have been trying to figure it out for years.

Maybe that's how you could make your millions, by figuring it it out for us!

By the way, you don't have to be "abused" by people to have contempt or even just ill feelings for them. It took me a long time to figure out that not everyone has to love me or me them.

onebaddogo · #19 (**permalink**) 08-23-2009, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by confusedinID

I'm not sure I could guess an age on this original post, but I have noticed that my response to family members' advice has changed over the years. As the "baby" in my family, at first I idolized them, then as I became older and they didn't seem to recognize that, I resented it. I used to seek it out now I try to avoid it.

I do think that "familiarity breeds contempt" fits. You have no idea that the stranger who gave you advice fought with his father, mother, brother, sister, etc. Tied his little brother to the stair rail. Snuck out and got drunk. Has been a jerk to his spouse. Neglects his ....whatever. We know too much about family members and it does shade our view of what they suggest. If we knew more about the stranger, we might question their advice as well.

Of course the opposite is also true. If you have excellent role models in your family you might trust them more than strangers. Maybe it is easier to connect or relate to others because we enjoy the newness of it. Who you trust has a lot to do with your own background and personality as well.

Then there is the possibility that ..... or....... but maybe it is just........

No easy answer to this question. Psychologists have been trying to figure it out for years.

Maybe that's how you could make your millions, by figuring it it out for us!

By the way, you don't have to be "abused" by people to have contempt or even just ill feelings for them. It took me a long time to figure out that not everyone has to love me or me them.

Interesting view, I agree with what you said here. Don't think I have the answer yet either... probably not going to make my millions then

LOL

Dyiana · #20 (**permalink**) 08-24-2009, 12:26 AM

To be honest, I am a person who can accept others' advice or suggestion if I think they are right.
But I also have my own principle, I have my idea, my belief which make me some time just don't care about others' opinion at all.

But if they are your family, they do everything for u good, maybe more communication is what u need.

have a good talk with them, dude.
They LOVE u!!

onebaddogo · #21 (**permalink**) 08-24-2009, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dyiana

To be honest, I am a person who can accept others' advice or suggestion if I think they are right.
But I also have my own principle, I have my idea, my belief which make me some time just don't care about others' opinion at all.

But if they are your family, they do everything for u good, maybe more communication is what u need.

have a good talk with them, dude.
They LOVE u!!

That would be true in most cases, however mine is a bit different. Long story, but you will have to trust me on this one.

However you are right on the top portion, you do need to do what is right in your own mind regardless of what other people may think. Thanks for your input.

Dyiana · #22 (**permalink**) 08-24-2009, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onebaddogo

That would be true in most cases, however mine is a bit different. Long story, but you will have to trust me on this one.

However you are right on the top portion, you do need to do what is right in your own mind regardless of what other people may think. Thanks for your input.

Hey, so I can see you are a very independent mind guy, so I guess I will support u do whatever your heart's telling u.

Good luck, dude!

confusedinID · #23 (**permalink**) 08-25-2009, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onebaddogo

Interesting view, I agree with what you said here. Don't think I have the answer yet either... probably not going to make my millions then

LOL

Dang! Guess you won't be sending any of those millions my way either then....bummer!

LOL

confusedinID · #24 (**permalink**) 08-25-2009, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dyiana

To be honest, I am a person who can accept others' advice or suggestion if I think they are right.
But I also have my own principle, I have my idea, my belief which make me some time just don't care about others' opinion at all.

But if they are your family, they do everything for u good, maybe more communication is what u need.

have a good talk with them, dude.
They LOVE u!!

Are you SURE they love him? Ha ha! Maybe they are just jealous!

jasonbird · #25 (**permalink**) 08-25-2009, 07:19 PM

Every family has its own problems every time~~!

tofusgirl · #26 (**permalink**) 08-26-2009, 03:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by confusedinID

Are you SURE they love him? Ha ha! Maybe they are just jealous!

That doesn't make sense, why parents are jealous of their children. If the children are really so good, they are just proud of them I guess.

confusedinID · #27 (**permalink**) 08-26-2009, 09:10 PM

In an ideal world......but the families I deal with are NOT ideal. Some parents are very jealous of their children, particularly if their own dreams have turned to disappointments and they feel that time is running out.

I really was just joking on this thread though. It was meant to be totally tongue-in-cheek, fasticious, silly, humorous....I apologize if anyone was offended! Definitely NOT my intention.

golfandsports · #28 (**permalink**) 08-27-2009, 01:10 AM

I don't its a hard matter. You should involve your family to take any family or business decision.
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winsonong · #29 (**permalink**) 01-13-2010, 01:10 AM

Hi, onebaddogo, I wonder do you get married and have children?

I also facing the same problem as you last time. My parent very care of me and always give me advise and try to help me out whenever I need help. But I just refuse to accept. I would like to do it my way or take advise from friends or colleagues.

But the situation getting changes when I got my baby. Now I will ask advise from them.

onebaddogo · #30 (**permalink**) 01-13-2010, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by winsonong

Hi, onebaddogo, I wonder do you get married and have children?

I also facing the same problem as you last time. My parent very care of me and always give me advise and try to help me out whenever I need help. But I just refuse to accept. I would like to do it my way or take advise from friends or colleagues.

But the situation getting changes when I got my baby. Now I will ask advise from them.

Yes I do have 3 wonderful children who are very well balanced and all of them have a good head on their shoulders. I think it may boil down to TRUST. If you don't trust your family with your emotions because of being hurt so many times from them, you start to guard your emotions. Thus not listening to their advise, even if it is good.

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