Hi

I have finally written a detox recipe eBook.

My sales page is online but order buttons not working until I get Clickbank
approval.

http://www.thedetoxspecialist.com/De...cipe_book.html

I have a couple of alternative benefit driven headlines that I could use in place of the current one.

I know I have to test them but it would be great to get some feedback first.

Here are the alternative headlines.

"Former deli owner and foodie reveals a new collection of tasty and easy to prepare recipes that will detox & cleanse your body of energy zapping toxins without going hungry, boring your taste buds or growing trays of wheatgrass."

"Discover an amazing collection of easy to cook but tasty recipes that will detox and cleanse your body of energy zapping toxins without starving yourself, living on raw or monotonous bland foods or spending hours in your kitchen."

http://www.thedetoxspecialist.com/De...cipe_book.htmlhttp://www.thedetoxspecialist.com/De...cipe_book.html

What do you think?

Sandy

__________________
Stuck for detox & cleanse recipes?

Get over 50 easy & tasty recipes here

I like the "Former deli owner" title better simply because it shows how you have a personal tie to the topic. It may help with your credibility.

I'm not sure if you were asking for a review of the actual page or just your headlines. As far as the page goes, it definitely looks like a standard Clickbank sales page. Not saying that's good or bad, but just an observation. I'm also glad to see you put the price at the bottom near the download link so it's easier to find. So many CB sellers blend the price in the middle somewhere so it's hard to find it. One tip... I would make it a little bigger though so when people do scroll it pops out more.

__________________
Severely Addicted to AdWords

It seemed sketchy to me. I don't know if I'd sign up for anything on a site laid out like that.

__________________

Hi Augenauf

Not quite sure what you mean by sketchy. Do you mean not enough copy
or not explained well enough?

What is wrong with the layout? I followed a sales letter template for the layout.
I am here to learn.

__________________
Stuck for detox & cleanse recipes?

Get over 50 easy & tasty recipes here

Hi There,

I noticed there is no space between the bullet/dart and "Do you live in a cold climate and find that raw vegetable salads chill you to the bone?", so it loos a bit off...thought I 'd point it out.

Other then that, it does look fine for a sales page.

Best of Luck!

"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; This is good luck"- Buddha

__________________
Kerry Keyes from www.QuotesInSight.com

"Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work." - Aristotle

Sandy

You are doing some good work and getting content onto your site to help validate your offer, but there are several things that I would consider adjusting.

First, and most important, when going to your site the first thing people see is what looks like a straight out attempt to sell something without any basis for believing in the product. Many people will leave right there. Probably most.

After scrolling down (which is past where many will go) there is information that the report is free. Only by going to the third view down the page do I find that the report is written by the page owner, a nutritionist. How many readers will get that far?

The first thing I would do is to move your picture and title right up to the top. You need to identify your credentials, even as you have at the bottom of the page now (Nutritionist & Health Resercher) [you have a spelling error there to correct], and at least a sentence or two about the purpose of your site--to share valid, informed information about detox and offer your FREE report.

Don't be bashful. You need to say right out loud, "I have the training and experience to understand the facts about detox and I have written an informative report that will give you the facts you need to know if you are thinking about..." You need to be seen as an informed person offering valid information.

This will let people know that you are offering some helpful information in your report (which needs to be true when they get it) and not just wanting them to download a sales presentation.

A similar adjustment needs to be made on the other pages. In every case the navigation needs to be brought up to the top area of the page. Seeing reference to educational topics (content) is what will keep people on the site long enough to do some good. In every case the large sign up form needs to be dropped down under at least some of the content or made smaller and moved to a right hand column.

The key in any business activity is to think from the point of view of your potential customer. When people come to your site they are looking for information, not planning to buy anything. What they see must cause them to believe (and in my view, honestly so) that they have found something worthwhile. When they do, they will be willing to pay some money for more.

You have presented some very interesting information in your articles. This is the hard part. Getting good content. All of what I have suggest is primarily presentation. It requires careful work too, but shouldn't take as long as the research and study behind what you have already done.

__________________
Good Success!

James
Douglas County Master Gardeners
"We don't always get what we want, but we always get what we expect."

Thanks for your input James.
I think you were commenting on my squeeze page.
Very useful tips though so I will try adjusting it to see what difference it makes.

My sales page that I was asking for the critique on is

http://www.thedetoxspecialist.com/De...cipe_book.html

The buttons do not work yet as I am currently waiting for ClickBank approval.

I have a couple of other headlines in a previous post that no one has commented on yet.

Many thanks

Sandy

__________________
Stuck for detox & cleanse recipes?

Get over 50 easy & tasty recipes here

Sandy,

You are right. I went to the wrong link for what you were asking. Hope the info will be helpful to you, though.

I have checked out your sales page now, too. You have done a great job on it. It looks good and the flow of information is good. I couldn't help but notice the development followed what I suggested for your regular site: credentials, demonstration of your knowledge of the subject matter, and then offer.

There are only two things I noticed that would cause me to hold back if I were interested in detox. Now, please note that both of these are common practices and may sell a lot. I don't know. But I do know they don't sell me. I just want it to be clear that this is my personal reaction and I think a lot of people feel the same.

I always shy from overstatements like those common to commercials like "ShamWow!" on TV. You only have one that I noticed going that far. It was, "All for the ridiculously low price of just $19.95." Very low, perhaps, but ridiculously low?

The other item that I always question is the representation that only fifty copies will be sold at this price. Every site that says something like that seems to keep doing it for months. If it is a truthful limit and you get any significant response wouldn't it come down in a few days?

I would respond more favorably if it said that the regular price was $29.95 but you were offering it at the $19.95 as an introductory price for those who order now without stating an absolute limit of 50 copies.

Both of these touch on the integrity of the site in my opinion. For me that is a top priority whether or not they help sales. And I always wonder whether they do or not in the long run. I seriously question it.

__________________
Good Success!

James
Douglas County Master Gardeners
"We don't always get what we want, but we always get what we expect."