I like the "Former deli owner" title better simply because it shows how you have a personal tie to the topic. It may help with your credibility.

I'm not sure if you were asking for a review of the actual page or just your headlines. As far as the page goes, it definitely looks like a standard Clickbank sales page. Not saying that's good or bad, but just an observation. I'm also glad to see you put the price at the bottom near the download link so it's easier to find. So many CB sellers blend the price in the middle somewhere so it's hard to find it. One tip... I would make it a little bigger though so when people do scroll it pops out more.

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